I am a force of love. This is what I told a good friend yesterday.
Sometimes I am not. I get tired of wondering why I love people so much and feeling so different because others question me on why I care so much. It is unconventional.
But that is ok. The only thing I can keep doing and loving people and humanity. That is why I love the word Agape so much because it defines the type of love that is in my heart. An unconditional love of humanity.
When I meet someone my first instinct is to get to know their heart, see how we can work together or how I can be a champion for their business or interests. I just can’t help it. Sometimes this doesn’t work out because we don’t share similar values but that is ok. My love knows no bounds.
I am so interested in people, what makes them tick and all different sources of creativity.
At times this love of humanity hasn’t stretched to myself. Growing up I was very hard on myself or even punished myself if something went wrong or I felt misunderstood. I even do this now from time to time and shows up by not letting myself write, exercise or I eat too much.
But I am learning that that is not healthy. Agape applies both externally and internally.
Sometimes I wake up like this morning and I am really angry. I don’t like being angry and realize I have to write and extend compassion to myself. I can only honor my purpose of agape by moving through the anger and expressing it.
This morning a great friend reminded me that even through tough times and adversity and when I am not feeling it, I can still honor this purpose. I needed this push from him. I will need it from time to time from you.
I am agape love.
